iOS8 just won my heart.

iOS8 just won my heart.

Isn’t it weird to think that Hitler’s soul is walking around in one of us trying to make things right and none of us know it?

Who said it worse?


I realized last night that England’s Prince Philip and Vice President Joe Biden have a lot in common. They both sit next to the most important person in their respective countries, they are completely unpredictable and we all secretly want to get drunk with them. Guess which one of these wing men said the following:

  1. “If you stay here much longer, you’ll go home with slitty eyes.” To a British student in China, 1986
  2. ”His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.” On the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is very much alive, 2010
  3. “Are we going to need ear plugs?” After being told that Madonna was singing the Die Another Day theme in 2002
  4. ”You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent…. I’m not joking.” In a private remark to an Indian-American, 2006
  5.  “There’s a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?” Asking Cate Blanchett to fix his DVD player because she worked “in the film industry” 2008
  6. “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t interested.” 1970
  7. “I guess what I’m trying to say without boring you too long at breakfast—and you all look dull as hell, I might add. The dullest audience I have ever spoken to. Just sitting there, staring at me. Pretend you like me!” Speaking to a group of Turkish-American and Azerbaijani-American donors, 2012
  8. “They’re a damn nuisance - I’ve got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off.” On smoke alarms to a woman who lost two sons in a fire, 1998
  9. ”An hour late, oh give me a f**king break.” After arriving on Amtrak at Union Station, 2009
  10.  “They have eating dogs for the anorexic now.” To Susan Edwards and her guide dog in 2002
  11. "You know, I’m embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t. I’m actually embarrassed." 2009
  12. "If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong." 2009
  13.  “You look like you’re ready for bed!” To President of Nigeria, who was in national dress, 2003.
  14. “Do people trip over you?” To wheelchair-bound nursing-home resident, 2002
  15. ”A successful dump!” explaining his whereabouts (dropping deadwood at the dump), 2008
No boss? Free pizza? Best day!

No boss? Free pizza? Best day!

(Source: generic-art, via samuelmoen)

My Scottish Valentine. @brigidkaelin.

My Scottish Valentine. @brigidkaelin.

“I think if I’m gonna answer that question, because it is a hard question, I’d like to suggest that we all answer that question right now, while I’m talking. I’ll continue. Believe me, I won’t shut up. I have a microphone. But let’s all ask ourselves that question right now. What does it feel like to be you? What does it feel like to be you? Yeah. It feels good to be you, doesn’t it? It feels good, because there’s one thing that you are — you’re the only one that’s you, right?. So you’re the only one that’s you, and we get confused sometimes — or I do, I think everyone does — you try to compete. You think, Dammit, someone else is trying to be me. Someone else is trying to be me. But I don’t have to armor myself against those people; I don’t have to armor myself against that idea if I can really just relax and feel content in this way and this regard. If I can just feel, just think now: How much do you weigh? This is a thing I like to do with myself when I get lost and I get feeling funny. How much do you weigh? Think about how much each person here weighs and try to feel that weight in your seat right now, in your bottom right now. Parts in your feet and parts in your bum. Just try to feel your own weight, in your own seat, in your own feet. Okay? So if you can feel that weight in your body, if you can come back into the most personal identification, a very personal identification, which is: I am. This is me now. Here I am, right now. This is me now. Then you don’t feel like you have to leave, and be over there, or look over there. You don’t feel like you have to rush off and be somewhere. There’s just a wonderful sense of well-being that begins to circulate up and down, from your top to your bottom. Up and down from your top to your spine. And you feel something that makes you almost want to smile, that makes you want to feel good, that makes you want to feel like you could embrace yourself.
So what’s it like to be me? You can ask yourself, What’s it like to be me? You know, the only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself: That’s where home is.”

bill murray, in response to the question “what’s it like to be you?” (via vulture.com)

(via doubletriplezero)

I really wanna see how many people live in Louisville Kentucky and have a tumblr.


mccombz:

So reblog and if I don’t follow you, I’ll change that.

(via whatcaitysays)

I am sincerely asking. You can answer privately and I will never let anyone know what you said. I just need to understand.

I am sincerely asking. You can answer privately and I will never let anyone know what you said. I just need to understand.

tidepools


wilwheaton:

A blog, in which I ponder some stuff, inspired by tidepools.

Anne and I were standing at the edge of some tidepools, watching tiny fish swim around in them.

“They look just like little versions of the fish we see on the reef,” I said.

“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what they are,” Anne replied. A wave crashed against the rocks nearby, and the water near our feet gently rose a few inches. As the tide ran out, it created a small current between two tide…

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lovealways-kelly:

THIS!!! IS!!! VERY!!! IMPORTANT!!!

lovealways-kelly:

THIS!!! IS!!! VERY!!! IMPORTANT!!!

(Source: retro-villain, via danfreakindavis)

Can I get an over/under on when the world is going to end so I can decide if I’m going to spend my remaining monies to go to Ferguson and stand for what I want and can control?

Pure coincidence that last night’s were the first of my nephews’ football games I’ve attended and the first time all season that either of the teams have lost. Pure coincidence.

Pure coincidence that last night’s were the first of my nephews’ football games I’ve attended and the first time all season that either of the teams have lost. Pure coincidence.

Happy #SonsofAnarchy Day!!
#FinalRide

Happy #SonsofAnarchy Day!!
#FinalRide

Paris or Kings Island?

Paris or Kings Island?